Sighhh

Im sitting in the sun on one of the first hot Muizenberg afternoons...should probably apply some screen but then think why not get a little pink just to say I can?

So in take a look at Hosea 6 with me,
``Come, let us return to the Lord, For he has torn un, that he may heal us; He has struck us down, and he will bind us up...he will revive us...he will raise us up, that we may live before him. Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord: his going out is sure as the dawn;he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth``.

Very personally, this is what He`s doing in my heart. As he`s brought me to this place where everything is new, where very little is what I expected, any last legs of self preservation, strength, confidence in my abilities or experiences have run out of speed. Im at his mercy. And its scary. My pride, guilt, self-condemation and judgement of 1000 people a day is so alive and well and ugly.    And his grace is way too good for me. You know when all you want to do is get away from yourself, but the thing is you keep following you around, no matter now fast you run. 
So never mind am only I stuck with me, but Christ is stuck with me...and he`s been whispering to me that he wouldnt have it any other way.

He`s telling me to trust him, that he wants to grow my faith and there`s no short cut. No matter how I feel about myself, He knows my heart better than I do, (``For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything``(1John 3:20) and has a plan to make me the  `` crown of beauty in his hand``(Is 62:3) that he has had in mind for me before he started ``knitting me intricately together in my mom`s womb (Ps 139:13).``

Yesterday I met  a beautiful sunshiny director of a women's shelter who started our meeting with taking a page from the American thanksgiving holiday and led out in giving thanks for a million things in her life. She beams the gentle, humble light of Christ as she does this. Then, during her presentation she mentions the death of her sister last week, like LAST WEEK. Ive met several folks like this since being here, though outwardly their stories are horrific, there is the sweetest Spirit of hope in things unseen pouring out from the inside, as they have leant to trust in the love of Christ, especially in circumstances when it makes the least sense. Though miraculous healings or instant answers to prayer are incredible, this daily resolve to give genuine thanks in all circumstances is the most beautiful, indisputable work of God that I`ve ever seen in process. There is nothing logical about this, but ``but for the joy set before him, He endured``.(12:2).
Despite every inch of inadequacy I see in me, I have a hunch this is the deeply rooted path of rich faith Christ is leading me, leading you, towards.
How his hopes can be this big for us is beyond me.
Praise Him who is Faithful when we are faithless.

Sorry for these less then fluffy and fun last few reports...if you`ve stuck with me til now, you truly are walking in this with me and I deeply thank-you.
Love, Char