HOMESICK...for HIM

                             


Ohhhhhh HELLO!

My dear family and friends! I'm Back!

After the best, and I mean the CATS MEOW cha-wow-wa-best visit home sweet Grunthal home, here I sit in my little new green room in the South African morning sunshine, breathing and ridiculously thankful for that precious time.
 

Home was everything it could have been showing off my beloved ones to Mawande. To you whom introduced yourselves, you have no idea how you overwhelmed him with your welcome and love. I wasn't the only weepy willow at the airport waving goodbye to this beautiful world of family and friends...he has received a whole new place of belonging in you as well. Thank you!                                                        

And then NOT thank you, ha as it was by far more bitter than sweet crossing over borders and landing here in this land separated again from my people, harder than ever by far in fact. It has taken some time to grieve and release deep rivers of tears, and accept this change again, allowing my heavenly Father to Father me deeply and desperately. And He is. To the point of opening my heart to the Ultimate Reality that in the end, everything, all beloved earthly family, homes, ways of life...and even super handsome boyfriends, will fade, with only HIM remaining, our Perfect Faithful Father in whom we will be utterly and euphorically satisfied and overjoyed in for eternity.


But as many of you know, this reality is foggy to find in the thick of pain and loneliness. Being at home with a few of my dearest friends, walking with them and their journeys of great heartache and depression, coming back here listening to some more of my sisters share stories of recent murder in the family and unjust death caused by an unfaithful husband passing onto his wife the HIV virus... I'm with you my friends...life can be severe, being present to Him is hardest in these moments. But lets just risk it, what do we have to loose when we pull back the curtain of our hearts to Him? His presence has been open to you all along, He is home, and there is "no place like home".

He is safe.

My Papa

He created you to love you, for you to enjoy Him, for Him to enjoy you.

Not for you to work for Him.

Not for Him to use you.

Not for Him to see how much you can take or how strong you can get on your own.

Sons and daughters, you are Sheer Pleasure to your Papa!


The only shadow of manipulation in him is he constantly tries to figure out new ways for you to notice and know and be anchored, in even the longest suffering storms, his lavish love for you.

"Hang up your hat" in his heart, endure here when it hurts most, this is what it means to abide. God himself has been "hanging his hat" in us all along. Since all of this life will return to dust physically, why not get a head start on the journey now and return to our Papa's house, his heart as we speak?

Its not our vocation or ministry or paper on the wall, it's His greatest destiny and purpose for us all along, to be with him, to be loved by him, to enjoy his beautifulness. The Father is the goal and purpose of our lives. John 14.

 Phewww my heart has been stewing here since arrival on these shores, welcome in!

Claudia's and my new little nest!

Alright as i mentioned at the beginning, we have moved at last from our happy Hansen House just a few streets over to a lovely new home on Albertyn Street! It has two sinks!, two toilets!, and two times two roomates! There is a small private space behind where we can grow a few veggies and get a tan and a cute little coal fireplace to warm ourselves off-tanning season!

Alas a few days to settle in and Ill be starting a course called Living by the Spirit, which focuses on spending time training my eyes and ears and heart to hear and see and follow the Holy Spirit more intensely in day to day living. This is one of the valued component of my counseling training that I really want to invest in during this time in between gearing up for full time ministry again, ministry being, merely an expression of life that comes out of the daily dwelling with our Father... I'm excited to share with you what comes from this!

Unfortunately I'm not advanced enough to get the video actually working!, but here is our new kitchen a little Congolese birthday dancing for my friend Betty's special day!

The lovely birthday woman herself who carries a story of absolute tradgedy of war, and then courage beyond what I can attest to but for the grace of God. She holds the smile of a victor!

What would a party be without my altogether entertaining brothers!?! 

 So until then, abide in Him as Jesus Himself is abiding in you, sit down and have a piece of cake and a laugh with Him today will you?! Even in the unknowns This life is good because of who He is, lets have a little more fun a little more often I'm thinkin'?!

                                                                    
                                                                          All My Love,

                                                                            Charlene

Oh Sweet Prairie Canola Fields of Home Im Coming for You!

ITS TIME!

My goodness, my friends I have never longed for home as I am this time around. It feels too good to be true I will once again get to breath in clear and dry Manitoba air as I walk out of the Winnipeg airport doors, drive up to my mom and dad's house, take off my shoes and walk through the yard under the safety of those towering old friendly maples and oaks. Can it be?!

Good bye for now you  beautiful Capetown Mountains...(Taken from Mikes Balcony window!)

I have come through an extremely difficult two months, delayed to update this blog due to my own need to process and pray and cry. Today I have my last farewell to a dear resident at the safehouse who is moving on, restored to her right mind and her family, heading home. Ill give my last goodbyes over Rooibos tea and cake and that will close this time with Scape Home as my two year commitment is finished. Only as time goes on, will I realize all my Scape family has sharped and equipped me with as I enter my next season.

Before leaving on this adventure two years ago, I felt the following verse was for me, having no idea of how that would play out...now as Im looking back, indeed this describes a fair summery of what our Faithful Father has carried me through,

Come, let us return to the LORD. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us. "He will revive us after two days; He will raise us up on the third day, That we may live before Him. "So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; And He will come to us like the rain, Like the spring rain watering the earth."…Hosea 6:1-3.

The pain of journeying this new reality of the ugliest violence and deadly fear and shattered spirits every day as I have walked with these women in this country has torn me. I remember wondering two years ago as I was preparing for S.A, just who would I become signing up to work in this field of human trafficking? Would I loose myself, my faith, my hope in the face of so much hopelessness? My friends, I write to you today to tell you indeed, God has gently lead me through this dark valley, has allowed brokenness and desperate questions to surface in my spirit as I have cried out for his justice, but let me say, I am more convinced than ever that all this pain is for a purpose. His master plan is perfect, he will not lead us into what we can not bear, he will carve out a deeper trust in the sheer goodness and beauty of his heart through these times than we could have ever known before. And this is worth it all.

He will revive us once again...

He is good, but he is not safe as C.S. Lewis put it. He asks us to risk trusting him above all else, especially when there is no understanding or answers to the "why" question in all of us. He asks us to make a permanent home in his love, the only place we are truly safe in this world. On days when it just seems too much, he promises he will fiercely fight for us and breath his breath into our lungs to revive us, and raise us up again. Believe with me, we do not suffer in vein, he will come to us and water our spirits, and make us grow into our truely whole selves as we come to know him, which would not have been able to come to life without experiencing whatever impossible circumstance we find ourselves in. Magnificent unimaginable redeeming beauty out of the ashes, this is his promise.

He is the Resurrection and the Life.
He is the answer.
He is the I AM.
There is no safer place than being in his will, there are no safer hands to put ourselves in.

Whewwww where do I go from here?! Ok an update on all the unknowns I shared about in my previous post....to start... I got a car!!!! My Malawian sister Thoko Zilla named her Ruthie, and she looks like a newer version of the little white mobile my Grandma fast used to zip around in! So thankyou to everyone who made contributed, this is such an amazing blessing of safety and accessibility. Now lets see if I can attempt keeping it up to the Rick Fast spotless standards!

The Fast Family thumbs up!

A couple of hitch hikers...

Taking Ruthie for our first test run!

Let the cruizing music begin!!

Regarding my housing, our dear lovely home of peace and joy and crown moldings has been sold and we will need to leave beginning of November. So we shall see what opens up as it is difficult to find housing in Muizenberg.

Ah yes and of course for those of you who have faithfully persevered in this extensive post, get this hot off the best press news...Mawande will be jumping on the plane north with me to enjoy the first holiday of his life here in Grunthal...destination location indeed! It is a quite a miraculous story actually, his first Canadian visa application was denied and he was told not to bother re-applying...so what does an African man full of faith do...re-apply the next week.... and send out calls to pray amongst friends and family. Well lo...a few weeks after that he received a five year multiply entry visa to Canada...the best visa issued by the Canadian government! Until we will be sitting on that first flight when I look over to see him beside me, I don't think Ill believe that this dream is actually happening! The blessings of our God knows no bounds or borders, his word stands over all governing authority! Mawande is so excited to meet my world, I am so excited to show him!

And finally, to answer the question as to what direction Jesus is taking me in next, I still only know that it will be back here in South Africa, and as mentioned working/training into the counseling field more directly with these beautiful people of this nation. I am taking wise counsel to take a break and play at home before setting my sights clearly on what God will be showing me next. This goes against all of my control freak nature, and is putting me in the seat of faith to wait and to rest, which I believe will prepare me for whats coming before I just go on and run ahead. Ill be home for about six weeks and will come back to South Africa, making more concrete decisions as God opens up the new way before me. All of your prayers are more than welcomed in this whole transition process, thank-you from the bottom of my heart!
A few random pics...and I'm out!

Honoring all the beautiful mamas on mothers day at with Mawandes church family

And especially honoring Mama Mawande with some delicious fish n chips!

Feeling a little sick on my couch, Claudia thought it was a bit of a silly sight in my pity party beetles glasses...thought maybe someone else would too?!

See you soon!!!!
Love Charlene

Keeping My Ears and my Knees to the Ground

Happy Easter We Have Reason To Live Because He Does!

My South African Paska

Have a little sit down, grab a left over paska that's slightly dried yet salvageable with enough icing, and enjoy a little South African update... So the answer is yes indeed...after I bore my little heart on my sleeve and proclaimed my affections for this new man in my life in my online love story, yes indeed I have been prancing and dancing in love down the streets of Muizenberg! We have some incredible mutual friends here that have been so supportive and celebrate this announcement sometimes with even more joy and gusto then we do!

Really, the community that has grown around me here continues to bless and care for me. As I have booked my tickets homewards for a visit in July, I've been taking a look back at what has already overgrow together like the early stages of a new garden, and I am filled with gratefulness. There has been a slow and exciting South African settling in my spirit and that feels good, and at the same time an aftertaste of longing for a slice of my mama's apple pie in her sunny kitchen endures deep down inside as home will always be my home. Yet the reality of what we must accept sometimes for the sake of what Jesus believes is best for us, though painful, is indeed where we will find our true lives, green and flourishing.  Though with a little bit of soul settling beginning...apart from my location remaining here in South Africa, change is on the horizon!

Can you hear the Hallelujah? My First Handel's Messiah

An Easter Dinner extraordinaire with beloved friends all around

Firstly we may officially have to move out of our beloved Hansen Street house in a month as it is potentially being sold by the owners. Re-location options...so far nil. So we shall see what could be even better plans that the Lord has up his sleeve to surprise us with I suppose if this is the case.

Nothing like enjoying a kfc picnic with Mawande's Mama and sista

My Scape staff celebrating our 3rd Anniversary with a waffle breakfast!

How couldnt an auntie, no matter what her day looked like, grin automatically coming home to this joy popping out of my window?

Furthermore, I am officially coming up to my initial commitment with Scape Home and though I will still be potentially working in conjunction with this ministry, as I have been keeping my ear to the ground to catch what Jesus is showing me for my next season, it seems my role will substantially change. Forgive me for my vagueness of the following explanation, but things are just simply not fully in place yet and I will surely clarify as they are fully fleshed out. I would just really appreciate prayer and support in this as it comes together, hence updating you about this before the picture is complete.

 It is yet to be given structure and definition but through my time with Scape, my heart to pursue more training and experience specifically in the counseling realm of things has been surfacing more and more. Building relationships with these women has been remarkable but I feel I'm being lead to start back at the beginning, back to the prevention side of things, back to working with the broken family structures many of our girls come from originally. Its an obvious fact that the vulnerability of a child to become involved in trafficking or any other destructive lifestyle sky rockets when the family unit is severed. I feel God has been using this experience in the safe house to stir my desire to work more closely with the local people and families of South Africa.

Roll Kuchen perfection with my Reimer Sista!

Beautiful new family of mine at Mawande's church

So the first steps towards this will be taking God up on a local counseling training opportunity He has literally spoken confirmation open for me to join before it had even crossed my mind. About a week previous God had spoken into the heart of brilliant counseling ministry leader here in Muizenberg, about multiplying their ministry by training up and coming leaders in this field. So once again as this is solidified I will update you but just know that once again, as Jesus has done in so many of your lives, He really does answer and open the way for those who seek Him. He really is that good, Im just learning grace continues to have nothing to do with what we do or don't do, just sheer Jesus being that beautiful and good to us when we call upon his faithful name.

In conclusion my dear wonderFULL family and friends, have a musical treat and listen to Oceans by Hillsong right now by plunking that into Youtube... come on I believe in your technical skills...even you Dad! The lyrics go as follows...

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

A peaceful mountain stroll to celebrate my 29th year of Life!

And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

[6x]
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Lets keep on following Jesus, there is no one like Him, he alone really fills our deepest hopes for healing and dreams forgotten, and brings them back to life when we thought they were long gone...He has risen indeed!
 I love you all.

Charlene

Once Upon a Romantic African Time...

Alrrright Hello At Last!! (Firstly excuse the format of this whole post...not sure what happened.. i blame everything on cockroaches these days so sorry about the non-feng shui feel of the whole set up but it wasn't my fault!)

Are you ready for this one...cause its a good one...edge of your plether computer chair kinda good one! Ha God is good! Take a break from safehouse seriousness for a moment and lets talk a little rrrromance update from me to you at long last!

Our rather long necked seventh Fast family member

Rick Fast giving the foreign Litchi fruit a Candian thumbs down

Tidal Pool "ing"

So...where shall I begin. Once upon a time there was The Most Beautiful Story Teller ever been told. He had a way of keeping the greatest secrets tucked deep down away in his heart, and at the last moment blossoming open the most exquisite of endings, or perhaps beginnings, one would never have imagined.

Alas...this particular tale involves a curly and might I say not so commonly cute Canadian lassy and a dark and handsome, though shorter of the tall, South African lad.
One not so normal October afternoon in the later of 2012, through the wind and wild waves of rainy Capetown winter, this new in town Canadian lassy at last found what she had been wondering around for at the local YWAM base, free internet connection. Little did she know, The Most Beautiful Story Teller had another 'connection' in mind that not so normal October day.
For across the well worn coffee table where the lassy intended to "focus on the family" and let them know she was safe across the sea, sat a curiously wonderful young man whom indeed immediately began to divide her attention from that day onwards. One minute turned into two, turned into a timeless
  buble of sly laughter and stories exchanged about plumbing to dreaming to back-up BackStreet Boy singing accusations.

Underneath the Almond Cherry Tree with My beautiful mama

All too quickly dinner came knocking and the buble had to burst, yet what now came forth was new, a friendship had birthed, destined for greatness, part of the most grand design unforseen by both lassy and lad. It was if they had met before...

Grandpa and his shark crazed boys

From this day onwards, these two could be seen strolling down the streets of Muizenberg munching on mangoes and speaking slowly of the sweet things of the Spirit at any old hour. Both entirely intrigued by the new worlds they found in one another, richness and poverty, faith and doubt, courage and comfort. Yet there was one wonderful similairty between the two that no matter how great the divide stretched, this stretched over and under and beneath their hearts; they had both been born of the same Father.

Oh "happy everyone on the same continent shot"

 (Though i assure you at this point, its a heavenly family heritage that makes this sister brother thing legite if you know what I mean) His love puts everything together.
 Anyways from  miracle lungs, to how to cook the juiciest african chicken fridays, to epic something something dance lessons, the lassy and lad became inseparable, a permanent bond of the best kind of friendship was slowly growing. A masterpiece of love was shaping out of those red African soils.
Thus a fortnight and then another year and couple months later...upon the arrival of Mama and Papa Lassy this sunny January summer, the young, and was it mentioned imeasurably ruddy and handsome Lad, gathered all his courage, tied it around his waist like a trusty piece of orange twine and asked to court the lady lassy at long last...
And what do you know? Sure enough, the richest of blessings have been granted from the fine parental pair and ...WHOOP THERE IT IS...Charlene Fast is totally the girlfriend of the one and only Mawande Mani of South Africa!

Ta daaaa....I think they are pretty happy...

Giddy up my friends and family, so apparently Jesus had a whole lot more than I bargained for up his sneaky sleeve upon my arrival on these shores than I had dreamt! Ive got a new partner in kingdom crime, in life, in love who makes me come alive to the plans of the Father and his beauty like Ive never understood. What more could a girl ask for? So the great news is we will be coming home in July so Mawande can finally meet all of you my dearest ones, have some hearty Mennonite harassment and send us back on our way six weeks later. How does that sound?
Ingenious Most Beautiful Story Teller indeed huh?!

Oh Mr Vince loving every moment with his Grandma indeed

Lindsey the Loveliest

So just to recap here a bit...my ever so gracious coleagues gave me three weeks off to have the most precious incrediable time possible time with my parents and my cousin Lindsey. Let me tell you, we randevued like Ive never randevued here in South Afirca before. I experianced more of this gorgeous land I live in during this time then I had in the last year and a half. I still have no way of expressing how honored I am to have these dear ones sacrifice so much to come and see and love this place and people I love so dearly.

One big colorful crazy happy family

God has a plan. Know that whatever situation you find yourself in, God has a plan. And it is undoubtedly great. Trust Him. As you have journed with me through some pretty shaky ground already, can you deny his faithfulness through it all?
Not I.
I pray not you.
Heb 10:23, "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."

Blessings of greatest sneakiest joy be found shaping its way into a most grateful smile on your lips as you recount the goodness of our God with me.

Love, Charlene