Perfection was so last life...

Its October, that means November traditionally come next…

Nifty!

Nifty Non-Mov November please my brothers for the sake of the pretty wedding photos?

Now where were we…

For those of you whom graced us with your presence this August at our Canadian engagement party, sheer gratitude for you, stunning day! Amid set up in full fledge thunderstorms leaving me a touch, ok fully frenzied for a moment, the celebration air as guest after guest arrived was so full of joy and life! 100% humidity, 100% saturation of the my most favorite people and beyond blessings!

We photoed, we lawn bowled, we ate waffles til’ the belts breaking point, we hymn sang to make grandma proud. We reminisced and dreamt of our future full of excitement with each one who came. We laughed, my mom and I cried….thats what we do! Old friends since knee high, new special someones and tiny babies to honor us with their appearance. Dear ones coming from near and far in the middle of harvest season couldn’t have shown us more support.

Honestly, our prayer was for our Father to host each one with such welcomeness, peace, and

awareness of his lovely presence in the house…and so it was! Dear friends and cousins pitched in to make this far more meaningful and beautiful than we could have dreamt. Truly we couldn’t have felt more beloved. Thank you to those who were there both physically, and in heart for those who weren’t able to attend. It left me feeling prepared to move into this next significant step of marriage as I now have the blessing of my community first hand behind me, on board believing in me and us.

And as the last left over crepe had to be rolled and the white sauce crock pot soaked dry, our hearts and luggage were marked oversized and heavily loved from Winnipeg to Capetown… touchdown.

Its been a whirlwind since, Mawande working over time at Hope Africa, marriage counseling on the double, my schedule full of ministry and wedding preparation before I turn the weekly page over it seems.

Concerning specifically the counseling, it has brought out deep issues in our relationship that have taken more work than we bargained. We have allowed ourselves to take a long look square on in the mirror without quickly flinching away when it’s gotten uncomfortable. It has forced us to ask Jesus for a whole new level of receiving and giving grace, for both ourselves and each other that we are pretty sure most couples in their first few years seem to require.  Real life stuff that has left us no choice but to fall at Christ’s feet for help, as no one can truly heal hearts and lives and minds but Him. Our counselors have been working over time for us, and I am so incredibly proud of both Mawande and I for staying on the same team and fighting for us when things have gotten pretty dark.  I’m proud of us for remaining in a humble position of need and prayer, when one just doesn’t know the way forward, without opting for short cuts to pretend for a while for the sake of pride.

We really believe that if God chooses to put two such different lives together and make it beautiful in all its imperfection, he can tie back together just about anything and any relationship. He’s an expert in this fixing the seemingly impossible thing, He really can do anything.

A wedding present we received from one of our supporters in Canada was a clay mug, one of the first ones she had hand crafted. She told us she was embarrassed to give it to us because it was so imperfect, but felt God told her she still should. So on the day we were leaving, she showed back up at our door, handed us this humble gift of mud and water and waved goodbye.  Little did she know, this gift has been a daily

reminder of how God is not actually looking for perfection from us. This cup has spoken significantly into our relationship and how to view ourselves the way He views us. He is looking for our love. He is not expecting what we cannot be and then blaming us for our down falls. He wants to take all of our humble begins and warm them in his hands and shape them using his power, his love, messaging all the fearful bumps out in the gentlest process. We are then truly the work of his hands, his efforts, his grace. None of our own, the pressure is off. Imperfection is so in!!!!! Its where his beauty is most magnified! All he asks is that we let the artist do His best work, with great joy he goes about you for that matter!

What a relief he alone is “the One who is able to keep you from falling and to make you stand joyful and faultless in his glorious presence (Jude 1:24).”

So thankyou to those who have been supporting in prayer knowingly and unknowingly of our struggles, we are overcoming, we are getting stronger. We will celebrate a great victory on November 28^th, but for the grace of God. Ohhhh joy shall have her dance that day loud and every so much lovelier than we could have understood.  It will be a sight to behold what God has done and is doing.

 Our God reigns.

And so the first of my beautiful family arrives in ten days to get the dance going!!! Plans for auntie sleepovers in our new little apartment are in high order!  Did I mention our new apartment what?!! Yes we share a yard with a stunning older couple, married for 40 years! They are beautiful and generous and hospitable and kind! They were praying for just the right people to come share their property, and we were praying for a simple quiet space where we could safely build our first little nest together. In everyway and more were both prayers answered! This area is only a seven minute drive away from where I was staying, but away from near the sandy windy beach means green and parks and trees and life! It’s a very safe and family friendly area, as we it explore it, Mawande and I keep exclaiming amazingly, “hey this is where we live!!!” What an incredible gift this place of peace will be for us to begin.

So the tea is on, all I ask is that you come again! I shall check back in once the wedding hooplaaas have come and the honey moon stars have gone or at least aren’t as shiny?!

Oh my God, you can do anything.

Oh my God, nothing is too hard for you.

Love,

Charlene Fast…for the last time!

              

My hair is gettin' long now where is that aisle song!

I think we are in love and getting really
good with selfies

You wouldn't believe it!

Ok, maybe you would, as you are, or know many brides or brides to be that go a little nuts with wedding songs looping through their heads 25/7, with all the decisions to be made, admittedly making them go a little 'loopy' as the day draws closer. So sure enough Charlene falls in line with the rest of them!

 Yes, I have the dress! Its my creamy vintage delight! Yes I have the stunning countryside church garden venue! Honk at the fine South African Holstein herds as you cruise by! Yes I have a few family and friends sacrificing a lot to come all the way down here, November 28th,
 to join the rest of this family to celebrate Mennonite-Xhosa style! Now what that will these two worlds colliding look like? Oooh a pre-view of heaven is my prediction! We shall see how many slick dance moves my dad has been holding in all this time! The dream is happening people!

All of this planning and scheming with Mawande has been...I must say, insightful! So what is it that causes little boys to most commonly reach for sticks and and rocks, and little girls, from the first day of dress-up, to prance around in make-belief wedding heels? Women, we have been designed to love love hey? No matter the cost, the fight, the pain, the painful wait, to the bottom of where we try to stuff it, we find we are at our best being loved and loving. This, ideally resulting in that happily ever after sunset photo shoot some day, when all is made right...riiiiight...!?

And then... Ive been told the crash landing back to life happens, there really is the day after. The fairy sparkles in each other's eyes turn into crusty sleep that your loved one annoyingly picks out more so because it is distracting to the conversation about the electricity bill that they are trying to get you to focus on in the morning. Ha as I'm clearly speaking from NO experience, but stories of those who have taken this leap of faith ahead of us, this is real and is why Mawande and I have been plunging ahead in a nine month marriage counseling course.

Don't get me wrong, we are joyful! We believe in marriage more than we ever have! But we are also aware that as a wholesome marriage can champion one another into their best, raise a family in a victorious Godly Kingdom lifestyle, and lay foundations for healthy nations to build upon, marriage is one of the enemy's greatest enemies. He hates it. He hates everything it has the potential to create, to nurture, to protect, to conquer.  Offering self sacrificing love and unmerited grace to one another, as Jesus daily gives us, within a marriage, defeats all fears and insecurities and insufficiency in ourselves, in our present circumstances of heart-aches, and in our unknown futures. Our loved one is ment to believe in the unbelievable about ourselves and our Father for us when we cant, to stand for us when everything else has fallen and come out over-coming full of hope for anyone else to walk into victory then, as we have.

The enemy knows how world changing marriage can be, thus he wields its power against us for absolute devastation in so many who attempt to unite under the wedding arch. Over fifty percent of you reading can testify to this in your own broken marriage, so many more of you as children can tell the same story in your agonizing childhood.

The beautiful Kristina Zacharias, my former MCI student
was passing through Muiz...

Wild Fires right above our Muizenberg mountain that blazed
for a couple days, breaking open certain spieces of plants that
are only activated by fire. We heard it crackling for days.

So you might be wondering where is this idealistic 30 year old want to go after all this? I want to boldly believe in marriage as we start this thing from scratch. I want to be a part of the Kingdom of Heaven reality of believing in marriage again..for young women to dream white daisy-in-the-hair dreams again...

As Mawande and I have been meeting with a few single young people from our Xhosa family church, get this tragedy, there has been such historical damage done to the family structure beginning with the intentional separation of husbands and wives, that the little girl "one day my wedding dress" instincts themselves have vanished. Marriage now is associated with entrapment, suffering and suffocated dreams. In our church of 60 people, there are a mere two married couples. These same young people look at us in awe, wondering what in the world has compelled us to willingly want to step into this covenant together. God's greatest model of how he longs to freely and joyfully exchange love and sacrifice for us, as a committed unto death man does for his wife, has turned into the very picture of lifelong imprisonment of unhappiness and betrayal.

Time out on the town with my new lil sis' Sive Mani!

Thus, we are equipping ourselves now as we have this feeling the battle will be long and hard. Weekly we attempt to humbly sit down on that brown counseling couch, bracing ourselves for the next subject that brings up more selfishness and insecurity to stare us in the face. It is already not easy...even among pre-wedding honeymoon butterflies to help lift us through! We have this deepest gut feeling that if marriage is God's dream in the first place, than it will be worth every drop of work and tears when mutually submitted to Him and one another. Its just got to be a genius idea if it was all started by the happiest loving wise Being and Father of all creativity?!

We want to play our part in His vision for the redemption of marriage in this generation, for the generations to come. We believe that as marriages are made right, churches can function healthily, and the marvelous manifold wisdom of our beautiful God can be displayed for all to see that he really is the best. Thus, for those of you wondering why we chose to do our wedding here in South Africa, I hope this gives you understanding of the big picture of what story God wants to start here through our 'big day' on this land particularly.

Psalm 126 (The Message)

1 It seemed like a dream, too good to be true, when God returned Zion's exiles.
2 We laughed, we sang, we couldn't believe our good fortune. We were the talk of the nations - "God was wonderful to them!"
3 God was wonderful to us; we are one happy people.
4 And now, God, do it again - bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
5 So those who planted their crops in despair will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
6 So those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.

My new Mountain view counsling happy space!

Least to say, life has been full and good and hard and worthwhile on this side! In other news! I received one of the highest compliments a few weeks back when one of the people I have been counseling, ran up to the man training me, boasting out of breath how amazing she was doing after spending time in my office for several weeks. Her work space had been terrorized by an angry gang member, leaving great fearful impact on the whole organization.
 But voila! fresh first fruits of his love being made alive in and through me! Its not often we get to hear about instant results like that when working with people, so this was very affirming as I'm just getting my feet wet in this beautiful and muddy field. Its fun watching Jesus at work (maybe even wearing rubber boots out there in the muck with us dare I say?!), He's really good at what he does, he actually knows how to heal everything.

Thriving at 30

Did I mention I turned 30 last month?! Why not I say! I feel healthy and free to love and be loved by Jesus firstly, and then am heaped full of affection by so many wonderful people in my life as all the bonus love and cherries on top (or at least I'm beginning to try to learn to see it like this!) Birthday family breakfasts with Mawande by the sea and homemade pizza at my sisters for dinner, with a sunny afternoon of relax and cheese tasting sandwiched in between with friends! I truly lived a blessed life! I want to thank each one of you loving me by listening to my heart as you read through my stories. I pray the Spirit of Jesus uses my words and world to speak hope and love into yours. You truly bless me. Cheers to another 30 years!

Ice creaming nephew time at the sea side, they make me so happy

As I sign off here...I urge you to search for those "dusty wedding shoe boxes" in your life, to start dreaming again with us as we start fresh in our marriage journey. Amidst a seemingly all hope is lost circumstance today, and I say that with all respect for some of the extremely painful places some of you find yourselves in, lets start daring to lift those lids again with the thought that just maybe sunset photo shoots are not too good to be true.

Lets be willingly crazy together and let our Father take a peek inside again.

Its His favorite thing to do.

He's the Fixer.

"...So those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing"

192 days to go!!!
And then the real fun begins!

Love Charlene

oh thank Emmanuel in all joy and pain

In case you hadn't heard me shout it from the thatched roofed tops over which ever side of the sea you are on...after a few detail such as Charlene's in full time school, the ring's finish date needs extension, Charlene's...uh left the country once again in a few hours notice, my man Mawande had his work cut out for him to secure a fiance for himself...but yes indeed folks...WE ARE ENGAGED!
Some got socks, some got grandpa's suspenders, but my goodness gracious Christmas morning 2014 topped my charts with the most prettiest pink and pearly gift Ive ever laid my eyes on!

The story goes as follows: Christmas Eve sleep over for Claudia, Mawande and myself at my brother's family house, check. (separate beds for clarification, check)
Wake up with that festive joy and expectancy in my merry heart, check...though had i only known what was to be expected!
So glad I applied an extra layer of deoderant...check!
Sang happy birthday to Jesus, Papa Mike read the best story of hope for all mankind, our husky morning voices cracked out an astoundingly beautiful rendition of Oh Come All Ye Faithful...presents galore, check!
Post presents Pancake fiesta, nephews covered in chocolate sauce goodness (ok me a bit maybe too)...and slump off to the couches for some digestion/story time commence!

Who could say anything but 1000% yes please!

First Raph shares a little story with a game to go along, next Uncle Mawande volunteers to go...starting off with, "There once was a story about a boy and a girl and how much the boy just so happened to really like that girl..."
And you can guess..ended with an "infact he liked her so very much he wants to know if that girl will say yes and be his forever and ever?" Then pulling out a pretty little red box, with an extraordinary dreamy rose gold ring inside, He waited for my answer with the handsomest grin I've ever seen in all known history and of course I said yes!! I mean come on look at the guy!!

And thus the dancing and prancing and skyping with friends and family began and hasn't slowed down much since! We have been praising our beautiful Father for bringing us into the next leap of love and faith together. Details we have established is the wedding will be in Capetown this coming November, 2015. The rest, to fall into place in the coming months. Stay tuned!

On a very opposite end of my heart, as a few of you know, I last minute headed to Canada this past December before all of this proposal business came about. I needed to go home to walk with the dearest friends of mine through their time loss. This was personally a time of greatest sorrow... to help bury my best friend's daughter Penny Noelle. She was alive for a few hours at birth, she is now more alive than ever incessantly laughing with Jesus running along
hand in hand on those golden beaches we all yearn for more by the day.  What a previledge this was to be there, to cry there, I praise God for making a way. Continue to get down on your knees on their behalf if you know them, January is cold and lonely during the best of those long prairie winters.

Mama bear and her beautiful copper Penny

My three pretty stooges out for a little white dress hunt 

So as some of this joy and sorrow has been settling in, Ive officially started my new apprenticeship, working under one of the most highly sought after counselors on and off the missions field. In order to start heading towards the dream of working with families in various communities, I have been advised to start small and start local. I am learning more specialized care for cases that go beyond just being a support role as I played at the safehouse. As I have walked in this counseling role all my life, now more than ever I believe God has chosen me to walk into very broken circumstances with the authority, wisdom, humility, discernment and hope of his Spirit. As I have been stepping out boldly into a few cases already, I'm finding that as I'm walking under His yoke, at His speed, the weight is on him, and I only channel his compassion and counsel, not somehow create it myself for these beautiful people.

I have so much to learn (including being tutored three mornings a week in Xhosa, the most common African language here for future counseling purposes), but I am amazed at how I already am seeing Father God use his daughter for such great purposes. He is so kind and patient, I am so grateful and humble to have been qualified by his grace alone for such. Your prayers continue to reap reason to praise Him in my life, thank you for beginning this new phase with me...though forgive me...Ive got no little red box for you!
 
Lastly, today being the first day in the last five, I have not cried my eyes out due to my most beloved Malawian pair, Thoko and Claudia, leaving the country permanently. They received me here upon delivery into this nation in 2012, being Mamas and sisters who walked with me through days of greatest light and darkness.  Their companionship irreplaceable to me, what I could best describe us as David and Jonathon type of love. The simplest grocery shop has now changed to the smallest sized milk, half as many bananas and no more surprise chocolate treats to hid under their pillows. Though my heart will ache for a while, the most beautiful part is God's masterplan being so incredible. After sorting papers and finding funding in Malawi for six months, they are both off to live in Manitoba with my family where they will be studying at Providence Bible College and having life long dreams fulfilled before their eyes! So get ready Manitoba family, the greatest blessing is coming your way full speed ahead, get into their lives, never will your joy and faith be the same again!

Our last Muizenberg Sunrise where we must let go..and let his dreams grow

My last question is, what would we do without a Father who takes his turn wildly and joyfully dancing when we are twirling about by day, and simultaneously takes our grieves into his deepest heart and weeps with us in the dark of our nights? There is no Daddy like Him. Join me on his lap this morning in which ever hour you find yourself, there's a place for you there. Why not stay awhile and rest.

Love Charlene