a makoti poem: eyes to the ground with chicken all around

Beautiful Traditional dress
with even a towel wrapped around
inside to keep the womb warm
for the new bride..!

Once upon a traditional Xhosa household wedding time,

The moment for the village hero’s new bride had come to shine.

With the morning sun she dawned on her navy apron attire,

Scrubbing pots to prepare, she just might have begun to sweetly perspire.

In great numbers did the dear family arrive,

To Queen Mama’s freshly painted and spruced up hive.

To catch a glimpse of just what this Makoti could achieve,

Included aunties sneaking in impressive tricks up her sleeve.

She spooned sugars and measured milks to the top

Not one of her guests left hungry to find bread at the shop.

A new name was her reward, Lulo is she now referred,

Meaning “One who has brought hope,” to this new families herd.

Welcomes from uncles, blessings from aunties,

She was being knit deeply into this land of shanties.

Mrs Lulo Mani indeed is much richer than any pre paid loan,

Her new family has accepted her as one of their very bone.

Though understanding  another’s way can leave one feeling strangely squeezed,

Bowing and silence for custom’s sake have their rightful place to appease.

Indeed she has learnt that honor comes in all shapes of wild potatoes,

Unto Jesus she chooses to wash all colorful feet, yellow red or green as tomatoes

Now if you don’t really have a clue what I’m going on about here in my rhymes, please let me offer you some explanation pronto!

My family of great honor

Within the wedding year, every new Xhosa bride (called a Makoti) has a separate tea ceremony in the families home as an expression of honor and welcoming her in her place in the family. She is given the privilege to serve the family and in this way she is shown to be worthy of knowing the family intimately enough to do things as they do them. To be given an opportunity to submit to the family traditions is a the way the family shows complete acceptance of the bride into the deep fabric of what makes them who they are. As she serves, the family is demonstrating to her they trust themselves into her hands to care for them and the family as she would her own. What greater sign of honor could this be?

Chicken party in the corner
on my mat with Lalam

Of course myself coming from a different view showing honor to guests by serving them, until I fully allowed this ceremony to digest into my understanding, this day was honestly very difficult for me. But there is the difference, I no longer am seen as a guest in their household, a very pale one at that. I was being told through my capable service to each one, without so many words, I am of them. I am worthy to bear their name, and to be fully honored as such into the entire community, with each dish of chicken prepared just the way they like it. As I placed pap into their hands, they were placing full faith and confidence into mine.  

Preparations for the life I was born for

As a woman, a new wife and even as a missionary, this is one of the most meaningful moments of my life. Considering all the painful racial history exchanged between black and white, the degrading view of women around the world and the constant damage done by well-meaning missionaries, the potential threat to miss this significant moment of restoration was great. It was a highly emotional day for me with stabbing thoughts of being controlled and demeaned, and without any space for the usual extravert nature that I carry. But as I’ve allowed space and time for myself and Jesus to reflect, indeed he has lead me on paths of gold, carrying great treasures and a crown of grace. I look down now to see my hands full of reason for dignity, not dishonor. I was born for this.

Surfs up on the most freeeezing winter day 

I was then honored yet again…with the arrival of my dear friend Darlene the following evening on a jet plane from Canada! Darlene!  Four years after making the promise that once she was able, I would be seeing her face in South Africa and there she was shining upon arrival in the international terminal! For ten days we surfed like the best of them, scrabbled our brains with English words I still doubt exist, and explored this beautiful land and people. There is nothing like physically holding someone’s hand when they say “I am here for you.”

3 Scrabble brains coming up with geniusnessz

Visiting Mama for Sunday biscuits and  a cuppa tea

As well to have Mawande and this dear friend from old bible school days get to meet and have worlds collide, this exchange was such a gift to me. Darlene’s conclusions about my new hubby at the end of it all were, “Ha he’s a funny guy! Keep Him!” And so I shall! More exchanges to come…71 days until we visit Canada but who’s counting?!

Finally, I must mention one last incredible work of our Father, Source of all lavish Love! In unending prayer for another best friend of mine in Malawi, for those of you whom remember Claudia, I have been asking Jesus for the chance to see her again. She has been enduring through desperate times in her home land, and I just have had this ache to see her for the last few years since she left Capetown.

Well, it so happens, I hear “500” in prayer one day last month, make my request to see Claudia, and the next day, I kid you no kids, there is a $500 donation in my account from none other than Auntie GRACE and Uncle Tim! I let them know what I felt the Lord had supplied this money for to check with them if it was ok, and with their blessing boarded a plane a few weeks later to hold the hands of my beloved sister!! The money was exactly the amount for a flight for me and a bus ticket for Claudia to meet together in an in between country of the beautiful desert of Namibia!

Let the giggles and photo shoots commence

We spent one week together I will never forget. A friend of mine here in Capetown asked a friend of hers if we could stay with them, and both Claudia and I can never remember being so spoiled in our lives by these strangers now, new family! It was like staying at the Father’s abundant house itself!

The Queen and the sea exchange their kind regards 

While we just laughed and cried and prayed, this beautiful family always had our places set at the table with them, ready to encourage and feed and be home for us in which ever way they could. Undisputable, all out acts of love God indeed showed us, never to be forgotten.  When discouragement, fear and doubt come a knockin’ the next time whispering that the Perfect Father doesn’t actually hear my prayers…Ive got a whole photo album of a flooding storehouse of photos and memories and miracles to throw them in the face!

Inseparable Sisters no matter the mile

Claudia said to me the last morning, “Before I came, I really felt my hope slipping far away from me, now, experiencing all of this, I feel like I’ve come alive again!” Just tell me we don’t have the best Dad ever?!

My prayer is that you be finding Him to be doing the same for you,

“…making open rivers on the bare heights,

…making the wilderness a pool,

…and the dry land springs of water…

Isaiah 41:18

My favorite preacher for the month of September

Blessed is the One who gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might, He increases strength (causing it to multiply and making it to abound..Isaiah 40:29).

All glory to Jesus Christ, The Messiah

Charlene Mani